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Eavesdropping
Mommy’s Weird
By Kyla Cornish
I love eavesdropping.
Rarely, do I do it on purpose.
I swear that these conversations just come to me.
It’s like a gift given to me from another bored “Park Mother” from the heavens.
Here goes…
On our drive home from my parent’s three provinces away, we stopped at a park for the kids to play. The only open bench was beside two women who were in their mid forties.
They were deep in gossip.
It wasn’t mean gossip.
Basically, Lady #1 was nonchalantly prying into Lady #2’s life and Lady #2 was serving it up like Jello and fruit salad at Thanksgiving.
I could totally tell what was happening. Lady #1 was a pro. Lady #2 had no idea that she was being played into sharing her life story while under the disguise of discussing clogging or ribbon gymnastics or cheer or some sort of organization their kids were in.
You see this is how the ladies first met.
Both are board members in some weird sport.
Yes, I said weird sport.
I said “weird sport” because, from what I could tell, they were really low on kids joining. TWO FAMILIES MOVED AWAY! WHAT WERE THEY GOING TO DO?
It took everything in me to not lean over and tell them how to target their Facebook advertising for their weird sport.
Any who…
Lady #1 would keep asking the odd personal question without making eye contact to Lady #2 during their “meeting.”
Lady #2 gave up why they moved to the town, which was crazy juicy, by the way. There was a man she followed, was supposed to marry, someone died, someone took a kid, someone transferred, someone else died, someone hated their new Dad and so on.
But, even I could tell that Lady #2 was being played.
It made me sad.
It made me want to warn her.
But mostly it made me hungry.
Because they were eating Timbits.
And then it dawned on me.
If you ever want to get information out of someone, fake indifference and feed them Timbits.
And talk about a weird dying sport like stilt walking.
– Kyla Cornish is a “retired” radio DJ adjusting to being a Momma of two children. Main problems? Lack of sex, sleep sanity and an addiction to saucy chicken wings. Kyla has been published in a series of funny blogger ebooks, “Life Well Blogged.” She has also been recognized as one of the Top 25 Funny Moms in Canada and US by Circle of Moms. Then she was kicked out of that contest for cheating. She also won a baking competition when she was 11 at a 4-H Rally. Find Kyla here: http://www.mommysweird.com and follow on twitter @mommyisweird
