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Happiness is a series of choices
Taste Life
By Danielle Cardozo
It’s the morning of December 31. It’s the last morning of the greatest year of my life so far. It’s been the kind of year that when I look back and think about all of the amazing things I have done, I get quite emotional.
It has been a year of change. It has been a year of growth. It has been a year of success and happiness. I think about how far I have come in one year and I question how I became so deserving of such an amazing life. Yet, the answer to that question is actually quite simple: I chose it.
You see, I spent a great deal of my adult life with a ‘woe is me’ attitude. I always blamed others for everything I went through, for everything I didn’t have, and for everything I wasn’t. About three years ago, I discovered that I was really unhappy. No, I didn’t discover it. I had known it for a long time… I acknowledged it.
I acknowledged that I wasn’t happy in my marriage. I wasn’t happy in my career. I wasn’t happy in my lack of parenting dedication. I just wasn’t happy. I had been on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs since I was 16. I was on them so long that quite frankly I didn’t feel human anymore. I wasn’t a wife. I wasn’t a mom. I wasn’t even a woman. The only thing I was – frustrated. I was frustrated that I let my life get to where it was… Let me repeat that. I was frustrated that “I LET” my life get to where it was.
I chose to allow myself to become unhappy. It was an interesting moment of truth when I learned this very simple concept: Happiness is a series of choices. The choices you make determine whether or not you will be happy.
Two and a half years ago, when I acknowledged how unhappy I was, I decided to make change. I decided to choose a better life. In my case it was a dramatic change. It is not one which I don’t recommend, but one which I am thankful for. I made the decision to leave my marriage. Not only did I leave my marriage, but I left my marital home and much of my belongings. I moved with my children into my best friend’s camping trailer for about two months. I got off my anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications. I closed down my cake business. I made the choice to change my life.
It was a bit of a harsh reality. I was jobless with three kids. I was living off my credit cards, in a camping trailer with two beds and three kids, on my best friend’s property. Remember friends; this was only two and a half years ago. It’s amazing what can happen in two and a half years. It was then that I realized what mattered. Being happy mattered. Being a Pinterest Mom didn’t matter. Being a Stepford wife didn’t matter. Being a business owner didn’t matter. Being happy is what matters. Being happy is something you have to choose.
In 2012, I was over medicating; I could barely call myself a parent; I closed down a business; I left my husband; I gave up my house; I moved into a camping trailer with three kids; I just about went bankrupt; and I was miserable.
In 2014, I am a great mom; I have the most incredibly supportive boyfriend; I have an incredible job in economics that I love; I was featured on a national television show; I travelled to Israel; I had a blog post reach 100,000 people; I was elected to council for the City of Cranbrook; and I am the happiest I have ever been. Isn’t amazing what two years can do?
You see, life didn’t have to go in that direction. I could have chosen to stay in the marriage because it was comfortable. I could have stayed in my home because I had one. I could have chosen to continue to drag my children to three activities a week (that they really didn’t enjoy) instead of enjoying their company at home. I could have stayed on the meds instead of eating and exercising properly. I could have kept my business open because it was successful.
I could have chosen not to apply for the new job position because my other job was comfortable and easy. I could have chosen not to put in an application for MasterChef Canada because “why would they pick me?” I could have chosen not to give the greatest man in my life a chance because he was ‘too nice.’ (Yes, embarrassingly, ‘too nice’ used to be an issue for me.) I could have chosen not to fly to Israel by myself when given the chance because it’s ‘too scary.’ I could have chosen not to run for council because ‘why would anyone vote for me?’
I am sure glad I didn’t.
Now I will make a note: Please do not think that everything in my life magically all worked out simply because I made choices. With each and every choice came a series of hard work and very difficult emotional times. In 2013, the year in between a horrible year and a great year, was a very emotional and draining year. It was a year in which I practiced making healthy choices.
I have had more happiness in 2014 than any other year in my life. I am so very thankful for that. I want everyone to have that happiness too. It’s easy. You just have to choose it. I took a mini survey on my Facebook of my friends, and asked them this. If you could give one piece of advice for being happy and successful in 2015, what would it be? I’m to share a few of these answers with you below, because they were all so great. But they also show that happiness is different for everyone. Do not focus your happiness on matching others’ success. Focus your success on your own happiness.
Happy New Year Everyone! Tonight I will not say goodbye to 2014. Instead I will say hello to 2015, and I will do so with a tear in my eye. I am ever so thankful that this year it is a tear of happiness.
“Love and kindness are the most important. Be KIND and LIVE, LAUGH, and LOVE. Life is so precious – treasure every moment!” – Maye
“Nothing wrong with dreaming big, but it takes a special person to BELIEVE the dream!” – Mark
“If you see a door with a name on it, go through the door without! You never know what is on the other side. I did this 13 years ago and met my now husband and moved here. The adventure has never ended.” – Liz
“It’s all about attitude. Positive people attract positive things in life. Positive attitude takes daily maintenance in this negative world. Don’t buy into the negativity.” –Sheldon
“Work your ass off when you do notice the opportunities, and embrace anything healthy that gets you further in the direction of your goal.” –Danielle
“When you can visualize your ‘success,’ see the things you need to make it happen, work towards the goal and live your best life, physically, emotionally and socially success can’t help but follow.” –Jenna
“If something scares you, do it anyway. Don’t fight the fear; use it to push you forward. Usually the feeling of fear is worse than what you’re afraid of.” –Sally
“…A lot of your support comes from your family and your children. That’s just how it goes, strength comes from what matters to you most.” – Carla
“No matter what, put your spouse first. Before your kids, job, friends, or family. It’s easy to push them to the sidelines but they are your number 1 supporter and deserve to be treated that way.” –Amy
Much Love,
Danielle
XOXO
– Danielle Cardozo is a mom of three, entrepreneur, and shameless idealist. Whether it be creating it, sharing it, or writing about it; the culinary world is her ultimate passion. Danielle placed eighth on the first ever season of CTV’s MasterChef Canada, and has continued blazing her trail in the culinary world since. Danielle contributes her success to hard work and being stubborn, as she’s never believed anyone who has told her she can’t do something.
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/danielle.c.cardozo
Website http://daniellecardozo.ca/
