Columbia Valley RCMP Report

By S/Sgt. Marko Shehovac

At 3 p.m. on Sept. 20, Columbia Valley RCMP Detachment responded to a complaint of an elderly male throwing items at a deer to chase it off the property. The items were described as a hammer and axe. The deer was not hit or injured. The male was cautioned in regard to cruelty to animals.

Cram the Cruiser update

Thanks to Kootenay Savings and the volunteers who put on the outdoor theatre and to the volunteers working the Radium Car show for including Cram the Cruiser in their event. We collected a great deal of food and money to assist the Columbia Valley Food Bank.

Domestic dispute leads to assault and then breaching conditions charges

Detachment members responded to a domestic dispute in the 9000 block of Wallace Avenue in Wilmer on Sept. 20. As a result of the investigation a 23-year-old female was arrested and charged with assault and released on no contact conditions. The female shortly after being released breached her release conditions and was arrested and brought before a Justice of the Peace. She was released by the Justice of the Peace with further charges of breaching the condition. No injuries to the victim of the assault requiring medical attention.

Edgewater snoozer finishes night in jail

On Sept. 21, Columbia Valley Detachment Members responded to a complaint of a male passed on in the lobby of the Best Western Hotel in Invermere. The 25-year-old male from Edgewater was arrested for being drunk in public and lodged in cells.

Too fast for road conditions

At 9:16 p.m. on Sept. 21, Golden Traffic Services, working in the area, responded to a single vehicle accident involving a Mustang in the ditch on 10th Avenue near the hospital. The driver was charged with driving too fast for road conditions.

Mooning critic lands in hoosegow for night

At 8:13 p.m. on Sept. 22, while RCMP observed a group of people near the bars, an intoxicated male took it upon himself to expose his buttocks to the police and voiced his opinion of the police. The police took it upon themselves to arrest the male for being drunk in public and invited the 38-year-old male for a sleep over. Male was issued a ticket under the Liquor Control Act for being drunk in public.

Ditch driver gets 90 and 30

At 4 a.m. on Sept. 22, while on patrol, the police followed a vehicle and observed it enter a ditch. Police spoke with the 18-year-old driver from Calgary and noted that he displayed signs of having consumed liquor. An ASD demand was given at which time the driver blew a fail. The driver was issued a 90-day driving prohibition and the 2012 GMC pickup was impounded for 30 days.

Ben the Rat, the Conclusion

The rat, I now call Ben, hits the floor to KJ’s screaming, and when I turn to watch the killing, the shovel that was held high over his shoulder, cocked and ready for the deadly blow, is now un-cocked and moving to the scooping position as Ben is quickly approaching.

I now realize that KJ is going to scoop the rat away to protect himself, and I am directly in the line to receive this glorious pass.

The irrational side of my brain has my hand going for my gun to shoot it in mid air as it comes back to me. The logical side says the bullet would go through the rat like butter and hit KJ.

The irrational side says, “the hell with him” Logic side says, “he has kids.” Irrational side: “I don’t care.” Logic comes back and says, “I did my job and stalled you, too late, brace for impact.”

KJ scoops the rat and hurls it back at me. Whatever speed the rat was racing toward KJ can now be multiplied several times over, flying back to me with a projected impact to be square on my chest.

Two grown Mounties are now screaming. No doubt the girls are back on line with 911 letting dispatch know further back up is required as it sounds like a rat is winning.

The rat hits me in the chest and clings to my chest. When I look down it had the look of terror on its face.

Irrational side of my brain says, “get the gun out turn it on myself and shoot the rat. Government ammunition, chance of survival.”

Logical side of my brain, however, interjects and says, “I’m with irrational now, shoot KJ and fall on the mercy of the courts.”

I lean over the bathtub with this rat on my chest and with my hands, brush him off as he falls into the tub.

Ben is running 100 miles an hour but going nowhere. He’s trapped in the tub. I slump down and sit on the toilet contemplating what just happened and stare up at KJ. His response, “sorry.”

KJ now tells me to shoot it. I had this vision of several bullet holes in the tub and me explaining to the RCMP why we have  to pay for a bath tub.

I instructed KJ to go back into the house, get a bag. I got Ben in the bag, went outside and set him free to fight another day.

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