Mommy’s Weird

By Kyla Cornish

We recently went on a mini family vacation to Kamloops, British Columbia. While travelling the TransCanada Highway we were suckered into some great marketing and right into a road side attraction.

You know, the kind that has signs for 150 km before the actual destination; yeah that.

It ended up being pretty cool, but the kids weren’t so into the waterfalls, instead they found a crappy toy airplane that seemed to be much more exciting.

This weird little toy can actually seat about four more kids. It’s the most dangerous hunk of crap I have ever seen in my damn life.

Obviously, the kids adored it.

Eventually it was Bot’s turn to be the pilot. He was happier then when an old man figures out how to use the carts at Safeway. But the moment didn’t last long.

At first we could hear them, then we saw them.

Smelly.

Loud.

Obnoxious.

Triplets.

Those dirty little kids climbed all over the plane, it was tipping, it was rocking, it was no longer fun for Bot who was now the pilot. He lowered his head and sat with his hands firm on the steering wheel and eyes gazed at the control console.

I was sure he was going to cry.

The triplets’ father was amazing. He made sure Bot and Whirlwind were okay with three other kids on the plane. They were all on together for about two minutes until he tried to control his three wild animals and manipulated them into a fun game of “Where are we flying too?”

The triplets immediately yelled, “AFRICA!”

“Okay, everyone off!” The triplets Dad announced. “We are in Africa, let’s go find an elephant and a monkey!”

The stinky triplets climbed off.

I looked at Bot, “You okay?”

“Yup!” He answered with a very devilish twinkle in his eye.

He climbed out of the pilot seat and walked over to Zed and I.

“Those kids think we are in Africa, but we’re not. I was the pilot and I actually took them to Alberta.”

Then he started giggling.

“They think they are in Africa!” He started howling in laughter. “They aren’t!”

Then we started howling in laughter.

I guess they will have to go find an elephant and monkey somewhere in Alberta. I hear Calgary has a great zoo.

Suckers.

– Kyla Cornish is a “retired” radio Dj adjusting to being a Momma of two children. Main problems? Lack of sex, sleep sanity and an addiction to saucy chicken wings. Kyla has been published in a series of funny blogger ebooks, “Life Well Blogged.” She has also been recognized as one of the Top 25 Funny Moms in Canada and US by Circle of Moms. Then she was kicked out of that contest for cheating. She also won a baking competition when she was 11 at a 4-H Rally. Find Kyla here: http://www.mommysweird.com and follow on twitter @mommyisweird

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