Kootenay Crust

By Ian Cobb

If you have spent any time awake and aware during the course of your life you will know by now that the stupid and oafish oftentimes push societal discourse.

Some are refined bullies who stopped shoulder-punching, snuggying, toilet dipping and brutish forms of psychological terrorizing in order to become ‘the leaders’ no one wants but we get anyway because most people don’t give a poop unless it is diverting their own life’s course.

Apathy begets bullying.

Apathy – foul, pathetically deep apathy runs through our society and nowhere is it more apparent than in America – poor, dear America.

It is a nation on edge from all the angry noise. Consider America, in a nutshell, one of those Fox News or CNN talking head-fests where four or six ‘experts’ (see also: unimportant blowfish Igors of the bully-pulpit brigade) all jabber at once, creating a noise akin to the tormented moans emanating from the ninth ring of hell.

All that is achieved is more anger; more shouting. Bullies thrive in that atmosphere and social mediums are teeming with these trolls.

An endless parade of shouting fills Facebook and Twitter – an endless barrage of complete and utter bull droppings; juvenile, obtuse, spiritually rotten and often agenda-driven by minds that likely can’t sound-out the word ‘agenda’ let alone spell it. The hate and fear parade has infected millions.

Perhaps it is the journalist in me seeking to learn all he can; perhaps it is my penchant to abuse myself with unnecessary snarls, which I blame an Irish-Viking heritage on and with which I launch attacks on bellowing blowhards, but I continue to return to Facebook and browse away.

Much of the palaver is small and personal, with many people trying to be sweet and loving, comical or entertaining. Sadly, an equal amount of the noise (that I let sluice onto my viewscape or see as comments) is the maniacal baying of aggressive louts who want everyone to know they are small-minded, frightened bigots with absolutely no true sense of the real world. They are just intelligent enough to postulate wrongly that they are smarter than everyone else. Add some personal financial success into the mix and you get what we doctors call “a real asshole.”

Consider Donald Trump for a moment; but only a moment. Okay, stop now – and get as far away from that smell as you can; it sticks with you if you are around it too long.

There was a time we (society as a whole) were fed our information two ways. We received it from a select few types of media multiply vetted by committed professionals who saw truth and freedom as the ideals, sitting well past the shallow sludgy end where the money floated. And the more committed dug into issues by reading and paying attention. Like all the other things that served as pillars holding aloft our hopes for a better future, such as justice and fairness for all, freedom of expression and a right to the truth has been usurped en masse by an avalanche of endless but well-controlled noise.

We’ve been freedomed to a numbing point and the noise is so vast that we have become hyper-consuming sheep who like to think we know what is going on and have all the answers but are in reality nothing more than a whiney pack of entitled dogs, Pavlonianly stricken by our own egos and greed.

Nowadays, our thumbs flick and our glazed eyeballs stare endlessly into a small device that diverts us all from the realities of everyday life. Add drugs and booze to the lot and you’ve got a perfect storm – for a well and truly controlled populace of slaves.

Add to this scenario the bully factor and, well, think of a well-trained border collie doing its thing, neatly pushing sheep toward a gate and through. The master’s firm hand to the head and perhaps a nice treat and the rewards keep coming.

The American primaries have been a wholly un-refreshing sip of sour bile.

The divisions in America, so cleverly masterminded these past few decades, are coming to a head and we’re watching it transpire before us in social media, where the ‘real news’ has become formulaic adult drone porridge and ‘pseudo news’ – one-sided, agenda driven dreck heaved out by an endless list of names all baying their loudest to be heard.

Pushing powerfully through all this noise is Donald Trump – the ultra symbolic ugly American – the kind of right royal dickhead Canadians have taken great delights in lampooning and standing up to since we sacked Washington in 1814.

Yet here is, a serious contender to become President of the USA. What stands in his way? Bernie Sanders, the guy with all the brains and compassion to be a solid leader and someone who would try to lead America from its dazed passage toward the light (actually an all-night Wal-Mart in the distance). He’s got too much intelligence and rational logic; so he’s toast. Then there is Hillary Clinton (Claire Underwood?), an interchangeable piece from gusts and tuggings of the Illuminati – a meet the new boss, same as the old boss shepherd.

Trump blustered his way into the Republican lead, with millions of Americans looking to him like he’s some kind of freaking messiah. Some messiah. A silver-spoon-fed entitled punk who has basically failed at every endeavour he’s embarked on and speaks as though he is the 12-year-old bully at recess, yet thanks to the sleight of hand of television and the gullible nature of so, so many – come on, say it with me – STUPID PEOPLE – the ugly American stands before us all – a symbol of how completely gonzo our southern cousins have become.

It’s like watching a friend suffer from addictions and inner demons but refusing to get or accept help. “All I need to do is elect Donald Trump president and he’ll attack all our enemies, but none of my kids will get drafted, and he’ll take care of all the things my tiny little bigoted mind cannot accept or understand and he’ll make America great again because despite the fact he comes from great wealth that has mingled intimately with the deepest pockets ruling the world, he’s ‘anti-establishment,” says the mindwashed throwback to a time that will never return short of dictatorial rule.

Saying Donald Trump is anti-establishment is like saying Justin Trudeau won’t spend as much of our money as possible. But in a land where facts are used by “assholes” and “lefty, greeny nerds” and knee-jerk emotional blithering is the order of the day, all sorts of ‘truth is stranger than fiction” stuff unfolds.

Trump becoming president of the USA makes as much sense to me as the fact that Manitoba’s Francophone Affairs minister doesn’t speak French. Yet someone that happened.

Yet here we are oh freakishly large thumbed ones, awash with the stupid, self important and silly; the excrement of apathy. We wade through it with tolerance, believing ourselves better than those down south. But we aren’t; we’re only a tick or two off from devolving into shriekfestive me me me clowns ourselves. Just read the comments section of any social media issue/string; yeek!

Up here in Canada, we watch America unfold as one might watch a Facebook video filled with people failing at amateur stunts, but know the video is actually one filled with cheeky pranks by conniving rat bastards and their churlish Igors. We laugh a lot but feel a little bit sorry, especially for the chubby guy landing on his butt on the ice. That looked painful. LOL… what was I saying? Oh never mind, look, a cute kitten video with a voice over by Morgan Freeman, who I understand just died again.

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